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In the great tradition of South Park, we are an equal opportunity offender. Here is a sample platter.

Dear Friend and Reader:

Planet Waves never aspired to have something to offend everyone. It just kind of happened; I was born that way. No matter who you are, we give you a reason to unsubscribe!

“You write about government and science. You should really stick to astrology.” Yes, I’ve also covered medical and nursing education, education law, public higher education, municipal government, public health policy and the wild adventures of tow truck operators (all before 2020). I promise you my writing is highly offensive to anyone who is not curious about life.

“You write about astrology. That’s not scientific.” I never said it was.

“Nothing you say in your news articles appears in the corporate media, so it must not be true.” That makes perfect sense.

“You write and broadcast honestly about sexuality and relationships.” You definitely won’t see that on CNN or Astro.com. It’s way too offensive.

“I can’t keep up with all the stuff you do.” I’m the one who keeps up. I’m not here to compete with anyone; focus on what you hate the most. There is something despicable for everyone.

“You don’t do enough.” I agree, I wish I could do more; there are still some few people I’ve never pissed off. With two talented writers and a trained editor, I would be all set.

“You don’t hate Trump enough.” No, I don’t bother. But I can’t stand Woodrow Wilson, if that offers any solace.

“You’re scary.”

“Your website is not perfect.” We usually reply to customer service requests in an hour, and go to the phone to help you the moment it’s necessary; sorry.

“You’re a New World Order PsyOp.” I can neither confirm nor deny that.

“I can’t read your white text on a black background.” We have not had that look since 1999, though we offer website design trauma counseling.

“You make me look up words in the dictionary.” I really do try to avoid that, but sometimes I can’t help m’self.

“You have no ads. I feel totally lost without sponsored content, popups every 10 seconds, flying chickens, tracking cookies and Google banners.”

“You send too much email.” I know, I agree. But if you open the promo emails, you will see most have a little repugnant gift of some kind, or at least an insult to your intelligence. If you want to go shopping directly on the website, there is plenty of free parking, just put your money in the meter.

NO RISK! IF YOU ARE NOT IMMEDIATELY PUT OFF BY YOUR NEW SUBSCRIPTION, WE WILL GIVE YOU A FULL REFUND! MAKES A PERFECT GIFT FOR SOMEONE YOU CAN’T STAND.

With love,

Your old friend from way back in 2003,

Here are your subscriber options. Our fabulous memberships range from $22 to $1,111. Promo codes abound.

Many subscriptions come with a custom, signed chart set, or a Planet Waves diary and new, improved pen, or a loaded USB key. Several come with a personal reading in case you want a truly custom insult.

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