Good Morning from New York,
While you’re getting into the working week, I have a diversion for you: Crime by Sign.
This is an idea that I think you may be better at than me: an astrological police blotter satire. That is to say, what signs would commit what crimes? This is a brainstorming project, so you can go a gloves-off.
We can all agree not to be offended by Sagittarius stowing away on a cruise, Gemini committing plagiarism, or Cancer squatting in a luxury home in the nice part of town. In case anyone goes way over the top, I will make refinements for the final draft.
To get you going, here is a spoof on Pluto through the signs from a few years back (2012). Thank you for your contributions.
Your faithful astrologer,
Here is the police blotter from the above sample
https://www.adirondackdailyenterprise.com/opinion/columns/you-know-what-local-history-by-howard-riley/2016/12/police-blotter-from-december-1942/
Scorpio would wait until winter so to find an icicle. Sneak naked into the much hated sex offender’s bedroom in the dead of night on a new moon, and stab the monster in the heart three times. Then dispose of the body in a ditch in the snow with his penis planted firmly in his own mouth.
(Was that what you were asking for, Eric? Or maybe I went too far…😆)