Crime By Sign
Looking for ideas for an astrological police blotter satire.
Good Morning from New York,
While you’re getting into the working week, I have a diversion for you: Crime by Sign.
This is an idea that I think you may be better at than me: an astrological police blotter satire. That is to say, what signs would commit what crimes? This is a brainstorming project, so you can go a gloves-off.
We can all agree not to be offended by Sagittarius stowing away on a cruise, Gemini committing plagiarism, or Cancer squatting in a luxury home in the nice part of town. In case anyone goes way over the top, I will make refinements for the final draft.
To get you going, here is a spoof on Pluto through the signs from a few years back (2012). Thank you for your contributions.
Your faithful astrologer,
Via Email
Pisces. Traffic tickets for merging too quickly at high speed
Crimes of passion— dying of love. Or misdeeds involving music. Killing me softly with his song
drownings in rivers oceans and buckets of own tears
Death by-booze pills food drink sex and wide eyed wonder( stepping off ledge of Grand Canyon to be one with the universe)
All wounds generally self inflicted
Rarely homicidal. Exceptions—anyone or anything that’s an affront to beauty.
a party full of flagrant wannabes.
In which case. Mental machine guns. Guests all stunned No weapons ever found:)
Here is the police blotter from the above sample
https://www.adirondackdailyenterprise.com/opinion/columns/you-know-what-local-history-by-howard-riley/2016/12/police-blotter-from-december-1942/