Dear Friend and Reader:
A couple of weeks ago, the Laughing Saints (my editorial advisors) suggested that it was time to do something new with Book of Blue. So without delay, I wrote a short article that expanded into a long article that seems to be growing into a mini-book (linked at the bottom of this page).
My approach to writing is to emphasize what nobody else is doing, and where my work around sexuality is concerned, I do this with extra emphasis. By sexuality I mean as part of self-awareness and inner intimacy (into-me-see), and a wider spectrum of communication with others.
Since the late 20th century, the sexual intimacy frequency has been jammed with political static that is a distraction from the real conversation. Or more accurately, it’s a way to avoid any sincere discussion of needs, desires, feelings, experiences, pleasure or healing. While I love doing erotic photography, I think the current porn environment is harrowing.
More tragic is that is where many young people get their ideas about what sex is. There seems to be nobody calmly saying, no, that’s not how it is. Nobody behaves like that. Fortunately, the real thing is much better.
Here is my first foray into this topic, from Sexuality.org — Coming to the Revolution, 1998
Expansion to my Jan. 28 Article
This letter is announcing expansions to my Jan. 28 article which are described below. In this article I’m describing a sexual healing process and introducing some ideas for who might facilitate and how. It is a pleasure-centered approach, not a clinical or psychological one. Must significantly, it is centered on oneself, and encouraging of people to support one another’s inner relationships as the priority of intimacy.
Eric has published hundreds of articles on selfsexuality, including for the Journal of Bisexuality, a respected academic journal. We agree that one’s relationship to oneself is the most important one, and also the foundation of other relationships. I consider Eric a serious, dedicated student of sexology, though in a non-academic format. I trust he will continue to write, teach and hold workshops well into the future.
— Betty Dodson, Ph.D., author of Sex for One
I take the approach that (to my knowledge) only one person before me has taken in public life, which is to start with one’s relationship to oneself. All forms of what passes for “sex education” are about relating to others; seeing oneself in the context of others; dealing with presumed bigotry of others; dealing with transgression; expressing one’s supposed sexual orientation in contrast to others; how one relates to society, in terms of discrimination or fitting in.
And so on and on.
It’s all a bunch of projection. That is why everyone is so darned fragile about these subjects — yet the drama is championship shadow boxing.
There is the lack of a center point of grounding within. This is why so many people are so alienated, isolated or out of control. (Overexposure to the digital environment is involved — this is all a digital manifestation.)
The usual themes elude, avoid and evade the main event, which is your relationship to yourself. If we need a sexual revolution, this is the one. To ‘revolve’ means to turn around, and the necessary turnaround we need is toward ourselves, and to establish a coherent inner relationship. Then we can relate to others.
A Gentle Approach
I take a gentle approach to the conversation, honoring traditional genders as well as exploration of gender frontiers (which means how you feel). I place my emphasis on emotional existence, the purpose of sexual relating, aesthetics (awareness of beauty), growth and trust.
In starting with masturbation or selfsexuality, we can avoid issues like pregnancy, legal consent, the violation of consent, STIs, the presumption of commitment from one experience, and so on. We get right to the physical, emotional and spiritual content of sex as a vehicle for awareness.
I read the entire Book of Blue with such wonderment and awe. It was so clear that you have such reverence for women, and thus used your talents to glorify hidden secrets of femininity. It opened new doors and windows that I had never known existed. I had never felt such confirmation and also protection from anyone.
— Planet Waves reader
A Better Option Amongst Many Others
In digital life these days, we have a choice between porno, feminism, red pill culture, hookup apps and ‘education’ that is really political or religious indoctrination.
Meanwhile, marketing culture seems eager to convince young women that they are prostitutes and young men that they are rapists. If we keep going this way, soon the only acceptable form of consent will be a Venmo receipt.
If I thought there was anyone else doing what I’m doing, I might not make the effort. What has kept me motivated is my curiosity about life and being the only artist and writer in this territory (if you know of others, please send them along).
I find his willingness to put himself out there as a sexuality educator on masturbation and self-love, as well as to ask the difficult or challenging questions about sexual communication and control, to be very brave and risky and worthy of support.
Several New Updates
In addition to many smaller rewrites and clarifications, I’ve updated the article below with several new sections. These include one for couples with a desire differential; another on dom/sub play; another for ‘incel’ or involuntarily celibate men; another on keeping solo play interesting; and a section on the role of the thresholder.
I have also included a new section on the use of entheogens in the ritual practices I describe.
While my approach is not for everyone, I think you will appreciate my preferred environment where men and women are held in equal regard, where the discussion is about agreement, appropriateness and desire rather than consent, and where there are no categories.
Selfsexuality is the point of origin and the destination of all sex. It is the one thing we all have in common — where all the colors on the flag bleed into one. There is no sex and no relating without self. The reason this is not discussed more openly is that it’s embarrassing for most people. I brush that back like a gossamer veil and you can too.
Soon I’ll be offering Book of Blue memberships that will include website access, photographic prints, new essays and photos, and a PDF or paper copy of the Book of Blue itself. The subject header of that email will say Book of Blue Memberships. This is your opportunity to get the benefits of and support my ongoing creations here.
While I have your attention, I’m putting out the invitation for new adult models of all genders, though especially couples, small groups and men. There are also volunteer roles available for those who can do web-related work or proofreading. Thank you for your interest. To the many who have loved and supported Book of Blue quietly or behind the scenes, and to the Vestal priestesses all, thank you so much.
If you want to reach me, please write to me at efc@bookofblue.com. All inquiries are of course confidential.
With love,
Your faithful astrologer,
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